English: A Tale Of Classrooms
by dezagirl
Summary: The die have been cast, the setting has been chosen, and unlikely alliances are formed. In an integrated Earth, with trolls and humans living side by side, our not-so-heroic main characters struggle to win at band competitions, learn the meaning of "friendship", and most importantly pass English. First chapter up.


English: A Tale Of Classrooms

Chapter One: The Backdrop

…

Alternear High School is not extremely prestigious, nor interesting, besides a small footnote worthy factoid. It was the first school to integrate trolls and humans, many years ago. This is mostly irrelevant today. However, it is still mildly interesting.

Blood racism is still prevalent throughout troll culture. Assimilation has failed horribly. There is talk of treason amongst troll officials, and talk of assassinations committed by a strange man with a scar. Of course, the politicians will not admit this. After all, the trolls aren't even supposed to have their own governing force anymore. This doesn't stop it from being true. Deep in exile, a queen waits- an imperious woman, with eyes focused on power. She hungers for her reign.

Already, some humans plan for resistance. A book is published. A quote is mentioned. A martyr dies. All this will come to a boiling point eventually.

But right now, none of that cool stuff is important. What's _really _important is what a bunch of high school kids are doing in some boring town. More specifically, what one high school kid is doing at this current time- harassing his newfound English partner in an attempt to finish a project.

The harasser is Dave Strider, who is usually ironic, cool, and unconcerned with grades. However, Strider is making all Fs in his classes, which wouldn't bother him if it wasn't for the fact that he is a band kid. And band kids are required by the school to make good grades if they want to go to competition. And Dave does, very unironically. He is a percussionist. (Fun fact- his brother is also a percussionist. There is some rivalry.)

And even though it is only the beginning of the year, this project is worth a lot. Enough, in fact, to make Dave fail if he doesn't complete it. And Dave cannot complete it if his partner doesn't. His partner, who happens to be a hemospectrum-obsessed troll who is an utter tool.

Completing an English project is hard. It's hard and nobody understands.

Especially when your assigned partner is a hipster douche who refuses to do his side of the work.

tG: hey

tG: moron

tG: listen you weird magic-obsessed guy

tG: i am trying to get this english project done but you are kind of my partner

tG: i mean

tG: not like i need a partner

tG: i got this under lock and key

tG: but you have done

tG: like

tG: nothing

tG: hello

tG: oh yeah I forgot you're a passive aggressive prick who never answers his chummychat

tG: excuse me while i hipster around

tG: ladidah

tG: oh hey look im wearing a scarf in the middle of summer

tG: sall good

tG: saaaaaaalll goooood.

cG: are you glubbin serious go away

cG: im tryin to do somefin for fishs sakes

cG: i already told you im gonna finish my part

cG: get it finish haha

tG: you're doing the fish thing again

tG: not obnoxious or anything

tG: sorry i mean anyfin

cG: your just jealous im embracin my heritage

cG: an anywavves

cG: its nonna your business

cG: ill get it to you tomorrow

caligulasAquarium has logged off.

tG: yeah tomorrow

tG: what a load of carp

tG: *crap

tG: jesus

…

It's quiet in third period English.

The teacher is a CLASSY LADY. She is also not very qualified for her job. Students get the feeling she was hired on as a result of the meddling of the school board chairman, an elusive figure with brown hair and strange tendencies. Ms. Paint is often absent, claiming administrative leave often. She is present just enough to assign difficult projects with annoying classmates. She is also present today.

On the board is an outline of a paper. As Ms. Paint taps her pointer on the board (thesis! body paragraph! conclusion!) her students talk quietly.

John Egbert, a bored student that Dave is not really familiar with, gazes out the window. He seems entranced by the sky.

Terezi Pyrope, a troll, is alternating between squeaking her sneakers on the tile floor and flashing her sharp teeth at anyone unlucky enough to meet her gaze.

A troll with a cat face on her shirt is contentedly napping on her desk. Drool escapes her fanged mouth and drips on her paper. This is a little gross.

And, of course, there is a scarf-clad figure sitting in the front of the door, writing frantically on his scrap of paper. (No doubt, a poor fictional piece about pirates. Ms. Paint enjoys giving out creative writing assignments and forcing the class to listen to their peers' works.) It is Dave's partner, who is supposed to have written his half of the project. It is Eridan Ampora.

And he is blissfully unaware of the reckoning that is about to occur.

Terezi double-squeaks her sneaker against the floor and looks to Dave. Dave nods, and she withdraws a straw from her pocket. Though school has been in session a mere three weeks, Dave and Terezi have both English and band together. (Terezi plays piccolo, poorly.) In this time they've began an alliance of sorts. Terezi calls it 'a banding together for CHAOS'. Terezi withdraws a large wad of paper from her pocket and, with delicate aim, shoves it into the straw.

Despite the relative newness of the school year, Dave has already managed to commit three infarctions. As a result, Terezi has agreed to commit, quote, 'EGREGIOUS ACTS OF MISCONDUCT' in lieu of Dave. A single act in particular, actually- a spitballing of Eridan.

When Dave pointed out that Terezi wasn't exactly the best choice for the act, seeing as she was blind, he had been silenced with a deadly (albeit unseeing) gaze, and had left the issue alone.

The ball, encased with saliva, did a deadly aerial arc and landed directly on Eridan's neck.

…

Somewhere down the hallway, Karkat Vantas is walking with a sour expression on his face, having been sent to the principal's office for a breach of dress code. (His pants were 'distractingly high'.) As his steps reverberate off the linoleum halls, an ear-piercing howl reaches his ears, full of anger and indignation. The sound seems to be coming from Ms. Paint's classroom.

Karkat does not care, however, and continues walking.

…

**END CHAPTER ONE**

**A/N- **Willing to take suggestions and commands for this story. Any and all ideas are welcome! I have plans…for the plot. Great, great plans…


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